Woke up this morning,
that was my first mistake,
the radio making a sound like a wild cry
from the caves of the Syracuse,
interposed with thundering drums
penetrating like giant spikes in my ears.
Decided to take a walk,
got to the pavement
only to be attacked by cyclists
bent on human destruction.
Finally made it to the local park,
attacked by a dog trying to have sex with my leg,
people laughing ho ho, hee hee,
I wanted to kill the bloody thing
but forced a smile and walked away.
I wanted a pee,
the public toilets were closed
and not a tree in sight,
spotted a lawn tractor on the edge of the green,
got some relief until the driver,
an enemy of the human race,
took off suddenly while I was mid-stream.
Done what I thought
was enough exercise for the day,
I usually catch a bus home,
a feeling of cosmic despondency took hold of me,
when I thrust my hand into my pocket,
I’d forgot my bus pass and wallet.
Luckily (?) an old friend stopped and offered me a lift home,
he had just joined the Mormons
and gave me ear hernia all the way home.
Got home wanted a cup of tea,
had run out of milk,
went to bed.