Why Aliens don’t eat corn flakes

There is in the underworld of Mars, a bar that only serves green things. It is run by the Smarties. The Smarties were doing ok until a Kit Kat (A Kit Kat was a robot that that came to the Greens as a Construction kit) pressed the red button (The red Button was the favorite food of His Drabness the Eark of Barley Twist) and part of the universe became blue.

Sometime ago, when the greens visited Earth, they inspired the song-writing trio Leo Robin, Richard A Whiting and W Frank Harling to compose the song, ‘Beyond the blue horizon”. This was a tragic mistake on their part, because ‘Blue’ was also a feeling of depression, and after the song hit the charts, the Kit Kats had to open an Asylum for the Greens, run by their great friends the Liquorice Allsorts, this is why there are a lot of depressed aliens in Monte Carlo.

Further to this, a remarkable event took place when the Greens grew an extra leg. This had nothing to do with evolution, in fact the theory of evolution was unknown to them, they had a great thinker on their planet (Snickerbar Slod) who blamed everything on their over indulgence of Marshmallow ointment.

Arrangements were eventually made for a large amount of Star bars to be transported to Mars by Archie Dent, an Ufologist from Kippax. Archie was privy to the Greens Milky bar Treets revelations, and can now yodel and sing “If I ruled the world” backwards.

I met Archie on a trip to a model railway exhibition in Gilford; he assured me that Aliens do not eat Corn Flakes. Apart from the above I have nothing to add to my previous statements on this matter.

Chris Pitts.

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